When all Else Fails
by atheandra
Summary: Darcy has to come up with a plan to get the Avengers away from the babies they were untrusted with for a photo shoot... It doesn't go her way but she won't complain.


**When all else fails.**

The plan was simple enough: Get the tiny humans away from the Avengers. It was only supposed to be a photo Op for the new Baby line the PR people had thought would be a smart addition to the benefits line. But the PR people were not the one who had to witness all those tiny humans crawl all over over-enthusiastic superheroes. No that task was all Darcy's and honestly she was about 5 minutes from quitting.

Plan A had failed. She was so sure that getting Nat to let go of the Baby girl they entrusted her with would be an easy fit and then the red head would have helped getting the males away from the rest of the tiny monsters before someone noticed and informed the Villains of the world that the way to defeat Earth Mightiest Heroes was to surround them with Babies. But well, if she was honest there for like ten seconds, she would have to admit that it was a stupid plan, Nat seemed to really enjoy getting drooled on.

Plan B had to be aborted because she couldn't look at Steve while he had babies, yes plural, all over him, it was way past even her exceptional power that mostly consisted of not imagining them naked on a daily basis.

Clint was helpless, Sam had run away with the PR people, Hill was convinced that Darcy could do it and would not help her no matter how much she'd beg, Wanda and Pietro were taking pictures of Thor lifting off babies sitting on Mew-Mew, clearly she was doomed.

Time for Plan… Well she didn't remember which one she was at but she didn't have a choice anymore even though scaring her boyfriend wasn't where she had envisioned her day going when she woke up that morning.

"They are so cute; we should make one." She told him, taking a large gulp of her coffee waiting for his reaction.

"I don't want one." He told her in between babbling and she smirked it was finally going to work. "I want 5, and I want all of them to look just like you."

Okay she will admit because she was a grown up that she chocked on air while he was talking.

"You… What?" She asked very elegantly thank you very much.

"Well I thought about it and yeah we should have kids, of course we should, they would be just as beautiful and smart as you are." He told her.

"You're smarter than me." Was the only thing she could thing of right now so that's what she told him.

"Only by a small margin and we would have siblings so that the world wouldn't wait for just one of them to follow my footsteps." He continued.

"You really thought about it." She said sounding surprised event to herself, her Avengers being smothered by babies totally forgotten.

"It's the next logical step, I thought about a lot of things, I thought about how we should wait until the wedding because I don't want the media to go all frenzy about you again and about how Thor would probably kill me if he thought I got you pregnant before marrying you anyway." He explained and she got lost in thoughts for a moment.

He was speaking about wedding like it was a done deal, like if they had talked about it, like if he …

"Son of a Bitch." She cried out suddenly getting a "Language" from Cap because sure that got his attention. "You asked me to marry you last night." She yelled at Tony and had to take the baby he was holding away from him when he paled suddenly.

"Darce!" Tony told her his voice unsure.

"We talked about this already, the day you said 'I Love You' for the first time. YOU. ARE. NOT. ALLOWED. TO. DROP. HEAVY. STUFF. ON. ME. WHILE. GIVING. ME. ORGASMS." She kept yelling at him punctuating each words by poking his chest. "I don't remember them afterward."

"You kind of said yes anyway." Tony defended himself.

"Of course I said yes I want to marry you, idiot, but I would like to actually remember I got engaged." She told him with a smirk. "Plus aren't this kind of question supposed to go with some jewelry?"

"Not my fault if you were already gone when I got up this morning." Tony told her getting a tiny box out of his pocket. "Actually Pepper, Jane and Nat tried to get me to buy you something subtler saying you wouldn't wear what they called a 'Trophy wife ring'…" He continued opening the box to a gold ring with the biggest diamond she ever saw and little rubies all around it. "… But this was my mom's and I thought you wouldn't mind so much." He told her kneeling in front of her.

"Darcy Elizabeth Lewis would you marry me?" Tony asked her in front of their friends who had become their own little family, the twins still filming the event.

"Yes, you, dork." She told him making him get up so she could kiss him.

Well at least that got them all back at the tower to celebrate, so mission accomplish where Darcy was concerned.

"You know Thor isn't as uptight as you might think and I learned to ignore the media." She whispered to Tony when they finally were able to seat next to each other on the couch.

"You mean?" He asked looking at her with so much happiness that she wondered if he would take the time to get up to the penthouse before making a move.

"I am sure Pepper knows a designer or two that wouldn't mind making a Pregnant Wedding Dress for Tony Stark's wife." She told him.

"This was great and all." He said aloud to their friends "and we will celebrate longer in a few days but I got to put a baby in my fiancée right now." Well at least it started like something appropriate she couldn't blame him for trying. And as he was dragging her to the elevator through the laughter and the congratulation of their friends she couldn't find a reason to do it anyway.

"Mister Stark would you put a baby in me?" She asked him, her voice low and seductive, when the elevator doors closed.

 _I'll be glad to have a little human brother or sister and I am offering my services as a babysitter for life_. JARVIS told them making them laugh so hard Darcy had trouble breathing when they exited.


End file.
